I recently moved out from my commonlaw hubby of 15 years.We had been apart emotionally for quite some time and it was a long time coming. Then I found out he was doing some stuff that I didn't know about...I won't go into detail (not an affair) but the whole part of him telling me mistruths for over 3 years just hit me wrong so I decided to take the plunge.
I bought myself a condo in a nearby town . It is not far..it's only 12 km from my old house and 6 km from my work . but I have never lived away from my original city before. I feel so alone and so isolated here. I don't like driving in the winter and the roads are dark and slippery here so the winter doesn't allow me much travelling. I do have some close friends living nearby which helps immensely...they have been supportive and visit when they can and we do stuff...I'm very greatful that I have them in my life.
However I am not coping with being alone. Although I am in my 40s this is the first time I've ever lived alone...I have lived here 4 months and I just sit in my living room and cry..unless I have people over or I am doing something. If I go to the city I used to live in..I cry all the way home to my condo. I don't have kids and I am the youngest of 3 kids...so I know that this is my future..being alone...and I really wish I was better able to handle it. I am seeing a counsellor and as well my family doctor as it's been affecting my health as well.
I do not want a pet.....I lost my dog earlier this year and that was also very hard...she was my second one and both times I was very devasated . It seems to get worse each time..and that is adding to my lonliness. I love dogs and know one would keep me company; however, I know that in 10-12 years it will be even harder for me to cope with losing him/her.
Not sure if I moved too far and perhaps I should have stayed in familiar surrounings...and perhaps a very small condo was not the answer.....I have no room for a roommate, even if I wanted one.
So my question is...how do I cope with the lonely empty feeling that won't go away ?